This is just sad...

So through sociological images I came across this post about divergent prices on black and white dolls of the same variety:

http://contexts.org/socimages/2009/07/08/the-price-of-profits-are-black-dolls-worth-less-than-white-dolls/

Assuming the tags are actually accurate which they may not be, the worst thing about this is that if you are privately adopting an actual, living breathing child, the disparity is actually much larger. I'd say the black "doll" would only be about 10 bucks - more than 1/4 but definitely less than 1/2 of the white baby, right?

THAT'S what's gross.

Two word sentences abound

Lucy has *definitely* started putting together her own two word sentences... Today I've heard:

I stuck

That's funny.

All done

Puppy's sleeping.

and, wait for it...

"Love you, mama" - which I may or may not have actively encouraged / cajoled / forced out of her.

Other words she's saying these days:

eat!

lily

baby

binky

nana

no

yes

We have liftoff

An official court date for Lily - August 26th :-)

What will we do next?

It's been over two years now since we got a placement call from our agency.

That's a long time to go without even being asked if we wanted another placement. There are a lot of reasons. First, we take kids 0 - 5 and that's the group that is most well-covered by our agency. Second, our county is piloting a new program that frontloads services to families and does less removals. Third, we have (until very recently) had two children under two, which I think is a deterrent to place with us.

With all of this in mind, we've been talking (read: PB and I have had brief conversations which I obsess about) about what to do regarding foster care. I would really like to keep doing it, it's always been our plan, but the motivation to keep up on our home studies and inspections and classes is hard to maintain when it doesn't seem like there is a need for us.

We've talked about switching to a private agency, but those tend to be geared more toward families where at least one parent is at home full-time. Plus, most private agencies place through our county, so the number of placements likely won't be any higher in our age group. We've also thought about switching to a neighboring county (where PB and I are both from and where my sister and BIL are currently getting licensed!!) but that becomes a logistical nightmare. The upside there is they do seem to need homes for younger kids more often - well, that's not an upside, but it would make us a better fit.

The final option is switching to older kids, especially teens, and more specifically teen moms. Not as scary as it might have been a few years and tempting, but I'm just not sure we're cut out for it, schedule-wise... J. watches the kids at our house, but it would be a lot to ask her to help with appointments and transportation for a teen, who's likely to have more out of home services.

I don't know. Maybe it's not realistic for us to do care if we both work full time. Our pseudo-plan was to have PB quit his job eventually, but he actually seems to like this job, it has great benefits, and to be perfectly honest? We need the money.

So that's where we are. A lot is up in the air right now.

Oh, and an update on Lily's case... we heard from the subsidy department who is playing nice with us this time around, but we can't get them to return our calls to set a time to do the paperwork. We're ready to file a court date on our end, but have to get that cleared up first. The wheels turn slowly.

Lucy's a chatterbox too.

Poor, poor PB. Seriously. Anyone who knows me know that I'm not the most... reticent... of women. And, anyone who's met Lily knows that she acts just a smidge like me.

Turns out, Lucy might be developing that way, too. It's starting to get WAY loud at Chex Psychic.

Here are the "words" Lucy has right now. I used the " because they might not be recognizable to others, though she does use them consistently:

• Puppy
• Mama
• Daddy
• Stop It
• Yucky
• Hi
• Bye Bye
• Night Night

I'm leaving on a jetplane

Bags are packed but not so sure I'm ready to go... it's hard to leave Lily for much time these days - she's aware that you're leaving and talks about you leaving and misses you when you're gone. Tonight, when I gave her an extra long hug before bed and told her that Mama was going bye bye for a few days tomorrow, she asked to go with me. Repeatedly. There's some mommy guilt for you.

The upside is that she will be fine. She might miss me and she might ask about me, but she'll be fine.

The other thing is I have to be at the airport at an ungodly, inhuman hour. And I can't really even bitch about it, because I made the travel reservations myself.

Q & A Part 2

From Rebecca:

1) What is the one thing about being a parent that you never expected to be so great/fulfilling/wonderful,etc?

Honestly, there was part of me that sometimes wondered if any of it would be great, fulfilling, wonderful, etc. I had some *serious* doubts about whether or not I would be any good at this and if I would like it. I don't know about the good at part, but I am amazed at how much I really enjoy being a mom, especially how much I love the little things - watching them sleep, taking them to the park, etc.

I am also surprised at how much fun it has been to watch PB become, probably, the best father I've ever met. Don't get me wrong, I always knew he would be good at it, which is why even when I wasn't sure if we wanted to have kids, I always knew it would be OK. And I expected to learn a little about him in the process. But I didn't expect, after all those years together, that I'd see a completely different (and amazing!) side of him.


2) What is the one thing about being a parent that didn't expect to be irritating/hard/difficult, etc.?

I didn't expect it to be so damned hard to raise a kid who is crazy advanced. I was always afraid of what I'd do if I had a child who had delays, since patience is NOT my strong suit. I never thought about how hard it could be to deal with a two year old who speaks in 5 word sentences. I can't wait for her to be reasonable... if that ever happens.

And also? How crazy and far reaching the mommy wars are. I am amazed by the extent to which women, especially privelaged women, invest themselves in being a mom so much that they begin to compete and judge one another to be crowned best mom. And to actually answer your question, I am amazed at how irritating dealing with that can be, especially since I really have contacted with a limited number of other moms IRL.